Dating after Divorce: There’s a Whole Mess of Mess Out There!

Dating after Divorce: There's a Whole Mess of Mess Out There!

Do you know how crazy dating is for a woman over 40? I mean, if you’re not into the bar scene and aren’t able to meet quality men in your everyday travels, you resort to either becoming a hermit, a loner or take a chance via online dating sites! Oy vey!

Dating after Divorce: There’s a Whole Mess of Mess Out There!

There is a mess of messy baggage out there ladies! Be forewarned! It’s not like dating in your 20’s or 30’s!

Getting back into the dating game

After 13 years of marriage, I find myself re-entering the World of dating. Mind you, this is as a 49-year-old woman. Might I add, this is my choice!

When I think of dating in my 30’s, I remember how much fun it was! Meeting men. Chatting them up. Turning them down. Kicking them to the curb. Falling in lust, sometimes even love. And the huge variety each one brought.

Now, at 49, it just doesn’t seem to have the same appeal.


Have you been on the dating sites and seen the pickens for our age bracket?

I don’t mean to offend anyone and I’m by far, not perfect. But good lawd, ladies!

I tend to believe that men just do not age as well as women.

Don’t believe me? Go peek for yourself!

How do you get started?

First, make sure you ready to be disappointed, frustrated, and let down.

It’s a whole different World out there! (and not just for the ladies)

Again, make sure you have healed from your previous disaster and are ready to move on.

1. Not all dating sites are created equally

You will find sites that are Free, but are they really? Be careful what you invest in. Window shop for a bit and head my warning:  Much of what you see is not really what it appears to be.

2.  Be honest

Of course, not everyone is but if you are truly looking for a friend, casual dating, short/long-term relationship, by all means, be honest!

3.  Post recent pictures

If at all possible, ask a friend to take a few shots of you. Different outfits, different hair, etc. Get playful with it. You want your potential mate to feel your personality via your images.

4.  Don’t give out your phone

Trust me, if they message you, they will want to text right away. I don’t know what the deal is with that? Sexting? Hack into your phone? WTF’eva! Chat ’em up first before you exchange digits.

5.  Don’t meet in person right away

From my most recent experience, some of these folks are going to want to “hookup” fast. Don’t do it! Chat ’em up! Keep a checklist! Ask the same questions a few times just to see if they reply the same. You’re bound to catch a liar in his/her tracks!

6.  Meet in a public place

This is very important as women. A public place that is well-lit! I don’t care if you pack a knife, taser, or gun, public place…lots of lighting! 

Dating after Divorce: There's a Whole Mess of Mess Out There!

Drive your own vehicle so you can get away if you have to.

7.  Make sure a friend or two has the deets

Again, very important! Make sure you write down the details of the person you are meeting and give it to a friend or two. This should include Full name, phone number, address, place of employment. Any info that you may get on this potential suitor will be good.

8.  Be honest with him/her

If you’re not feeling it, be honest with him/her. But make sure you’re in a safe situation that you can escape if needed. Possibly end the evening early and on a good note. The contact afterward is when you could say “I just wasn’t feeling it” or however you want to let the person down.

If you are feeling it, by all means, show it. We’re middle-aged so just about anything goes now. We’ve been around the block a few times so if you wanna ride that cowboy that first night, Go For It! You owe it to yourself to have some fun!

9.  Be prepared to be insulted

If you let a potential suitor/date down, be prepared they may not be so cordial about the letdown. Men have a huge ego!

If it happens, take the high road and just hang up on them or block them on the dating site. They can soothe their ego later by themselves.

10.  Have fun!

By all means, have fun! We are in the prime of our lives! Most of us are well-established and know what we want. We have good jobs, our own home, children, furry-children, and so much more.

Don’t settle for less than you deserve or want.

I want to hear about your experiences

Let’s hear it! These dating experiences humor me! Some can also be a little sad and frustrating but if you’ve been out there doing it for a bit, let’s share! I want to hear your best and worse experience!

Too shy to comment below on it? Then message me with it! I promise to keep your story confidential!

Let’s do this!

6 thoughts on “Dating after Divorce: There’s a Whole Mess of Mess Out There!

Add yours

  1. I know it’s not for everyone, but I am really enjoying the single life…without the hassle and stress of dating. I know that being in love is awesome and that sharing your life with someone special who gets you, adores you, and loves you for who you are can be REALLY amazing. I had all that until my soul mate died in 2007. Now…It’s a MESS out there…Lol.


    1. Hey Darlene. I’m so sorry to hear about your mate. 😦 Although, I don’t mind being alone, I do like the company of a male for dinner and other outings. Being divorced, I’m not sure if I’ll ever remarry, but I’m open to it….just not now. Right now, I’m looking forward to the alone time in my own home with my pups… with the occasional dinner out with a man. 🙂

      Thanks for sharing with us. I love hearing other perspectives on the topic!


  2. Well, I am 46 and have entered the dating scene but recently starting seeing a long time friend.I was doing the online dating thing. I did meet a few following your rules (which are good by the way otherwise it is nothing but hookups). Most are either waiting for hook ups or already in a relationship to cheat. Older women over 40 are prime suspects for scammers. Thinking we have the money or are desperate. Some were winners, some were pure losers.


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